Kataang Oneshot, The Night
by Aanglover KF
Summary: Katara and Aangs point of view on the night of the EIP  Ember Island Players episode  rejection scene. better than it sounds...really!
1. Chapter 1: Internal Conflict

The play had only been over for a few hours, but the memories of it, and of Aang, were still etched into her mind. It was like ink and a brush to parchment; it couldn't be erased and she hated it.

_"Aang, I'm sorry, but right now I'm just a little confused."_

Even now she could still taste the sourness of her words in her mouth. Every replay of the account in Katara's head was racked with guilt, and _that look_...oh, that look in his eyes as she turned to go inside didn't amend the guilt or the heaviness she felt in her heart either. He could have crumbled mountains with his eyes if given the chance, and Katara was no mountain, much less a good friend as of late.

Admitting defeat, Katara slumped down on the wooden floor of her bedroom's outside balcony with a 'thud', curling her arms around her knees; saddened.  
Normally, looking up at the moon's luminous glow and the ocean waves brought a sense of comfort and kept her head straight...unfortunately, tonight was not one of those nights. She was a swirling typhoon of uncertainty, one that gave no comfort.

They had been staying at Zuko's family vacation house on Ember Island for a few days now and since it was unoccupied it was the last place the Fire Nation would look and the perfect place to keep Aang safe while practicing firebending. But up to this point, Katara didn't feel like she was keeping him very safe-more so very confused and hurt.

"I guess he just caught me off guard. I didn't know how to react..," Katara murmured to the heavens while slowly brushing her finger over her lips, where his were earlier that night.

...I still don't."

He was her best friend that much was certain, but since the kiss at the invasion she began to question everything, even double guess herself. _Why did he do it? Was it out of fear of not coming back? Why was her heart fluttering so erratically in her chest afterwards?_ But it wasn't until now when he stole another peck of her lips that she could actually start to answer some of these menacing riddles. Though, she would like to have them remain unsolved, much to Aang's dismay.

_"Why don't' you know?" Aang pressed._

"Because we're in the middle of a war and we have other things to worry about. This isn't the right time."

Aang pressed further, hoping to get an answer, "Well, when _**is**__ the right time?"_

Katara buried her head in her knees, shivering from the colder-than-normal night's breeze blowing across her smooth visage. His questions buzzed in her ears like a swarm of angry buzzard-wasps. They not only annoyed the heck out of her, but made her frightened. Frightened of not knowing the possibilities of their relationship and even more so of not knowing if there would ever be a "right time". Focusing on helping end a century old war was always the first priority; teaching Aang waterbending- first priority, bringing Aang back to life-first priority! Every move was for the greater good of the world.  
The Firebenders were getting stronger with every day Sozin's Comet drew closer to the Earth and they couldn't afford to squander any time they had. And to put her feelings (or whatever she felt) on a pedestal above the fate of the world was just _selfish_ and _irresponsible_; two characteristics that never made up Katara. She was the responsible one, the one that kept their gang out of trouble (or helped get into it), and provided hope when things were the most grim; the characteristics that the play writer of that awful adaptation regrettably left out.

_ 'It's all that stupid plays fault. If we hadn't gone to it we'd still be talking to eachother, we would still be freely practicing waterbending at night...'_ Katara thought.

This was the excuse she made up but something clenching deep in her stomach told her that this encounter would have happened sooner or later anyway; play or no play. Afterall, they haven't been alone together for a long time to actually talk rather than focus on training...not since...

Katara suddenly envisioned herself being kissed passionately on the submarine by Aang, her legs were melting butter, her face flushed red. It was quite the extraordinary kiss...

"Spirits, what's wrong with me?... It's like I enjoyed it!", Katara said frustrated, making a confused gesture with her hands.

No longer against the wall of her room, Katara flattened out parallel to the balcony floor to stare up fully at was the night's sky had to offer.

Why couldn't this be easy; like waterbending with its pushing and pulling of the lapping waves against the shore and the moon which helps her command each of them? Now, all she could think about was how Aang was taking all of this...

_"Does anyone know where Aang is?"_

"He left to get me firegummies like..ten minutes ago, and I'm still waiting.", Sokka exclaimed very impatiently for not having his snacks on time before the intermission.

"I'm going to go check outside.."

As she walked, worry and anxiousness filled her being. She saw he looked upset when he got up and walked out of the theater and maybe a little...betrayed? She wasn't certain, all she knew was she sought to make sure he was alright. Suspecting he was out where they were during the first intermission, she checked there. Sure enough, she saw him. His silhouette against the moon's rays made him blend into the balcony's banister. He looked very distressed.

"Are you alright?" was all Katara could muster.

"No, I'm not. I hate this play." Aang said, snatching his hat from his head and throwing it on the floor, exposing his trademark arrow tattoo.

"I know it's upsetting, but it sounds like you're overreacting."

Aang looked to her, "Overreacting! If I hadn't blocked my chakra I'd probably be in the Avatar State right now!"

Katara just stood there, watching the millions of emotions play over his face. There was no way of talking to him when he was like this. Not when he blamed himself for leaving his people to be massacred, not when Appa was stolen, and definitely not now.

The silence was unbearable even for only what seemed a few minutes.

"You know, if you told me what this 'cosmic energy' chakra pertains to, maybe I could help you try to unlock it..I've calmed you out of the Avatar State before...how different can it all be, really?", Katara concluded, putting a reassuring hand on Aang's right shoulder.

"It's not the same as that, Katara. You just don't understand", Aang said quietly, shrugging his shoulder of her hand, then continued in a whisper, "You'll never understand how hard it is to try to..."he stopped, remembering that _**she**__ was still next to him._

"Try to what Aang?"

Aang pretended to not hear her question and swiftly changed the conversation.

"...Katara, did you really mean what you said in there?"

This was presumably the most perplexing piece of the puzzle that was Aang. Ever since he went to the Eastern Air Temple to meet the Guru, he's been avoiding to speak about what actually happened there. The dawn before the invasion he said a bit about unlocking six of seven chakras...whatever those were... The last one, this 'cosmic energy', seemed to have really beaten him into the ground though. She wanted to know more to aid him, but Aang never went so far as to elaborate on it to anyone. It was strange...he never kept anything from her...

Clasping her hands together, she put them beneath her head as a barrier between the hard wood. She was much too tired to be philosophizing about such confounding things or get up to go to her bed none-the-less. Her psyche and body was utterly somnolent. And she needed her strength for the impending days of drilling Aang on his octopus form.

"I guess you can't help me out here, huh Yue?" Katara asked with a hint of sarcasm in her voice slightly laughing to herself. The last object she saw before her eyes fluttered shut was of a large bird passing over the moon with striking fluidity and speed.


	2. Chapter 2: Midnight Flight of Mind

He airbended though the window back into his room, quietly shutting his glider and propping it against an unused dresser, hoping that no one had noticed he was gone for a few short hours. Aang air flopped down on his bed, reflecting on tonight's events.

No matter how much he tried to block them from his consciousness, they kept returning. He hoped that by going out for a midnight flight it would make all his uncertainties go away. His native element was his release, to let go of the world and center on the wind currents controlling his glider as he flew. It was evasive, and it was his _style_. Alas, even his _style_ couldn't writhe his way out of this problem. So when he saw the scene with Zuko and Katara in the catacombs all _close_ like that it was no wonder that he turned to his baser Air Nomad instinct and booked it out of there. Rage and deceit swelled throughout his being with every step he took. Like his attitude was after that horrid scene; his gliding was just the same; jagged and edgy. He had his assumptions about them (i.e.: their 'little field trip') before and didn't make much of it; until tonight that is...

She said she was _confused..._ but really what she meant was she's confused because she has a thing for his firebending teacher and didn't want to hurt him by saying what she really felt. That is why they sat together and Katara didn't protest, and that it didn't bother her when they were 'close' in that catacomb scene. He may have only been a teenager, but he held the experiences and wisdom of thousands of Avatars at his exposal. Though, he really didn't need any of them to tell...

..."Katara, did you really mean what you said in there?"

"In where? What are you talking about?" Katara said, obviously confused.

"On stage. When you said I was just like a...brother to you, and you didn't have feelings for me."

"I didn't say that, an actor said that." she knew where this was heading and she didn't want to talk about it, not now, not like this.

"But it's true isn't it? We kissed at the invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together,..But we're not."

"Aang... (she hesitated)...I don't know..."

Just thinking of it was ripping a hole in his chest, one as large as the one on his back. Hmpft..._little brother_...She might as well have gotten Azula to shoot lightning at him; that would have been more forgiving than this! He poured his heart out to her, basically saying he loved her and even mustered up the courage to kiss her again...she could have at least given him the courtesy of a straight answer.

All of a sudden, he heard a familiar voice; one that he really didn't have the patience to listen to at the moment.

"Don't worry, it gets better."

Aang shot up and turned towards the window where the echo came from. There he saw Roku in his normal Spirit World appearance and Fire Nation clothes; aged and furrowed like the day he died.

"Yeah and how exactly is that, Roku? I've lost the woman I love, the world's deluded by fear of the Fire Nation, and we're hiding fugitives. How is **this** better?" Aang said quietly but furiously, gritting his teeth.

Roku was rather alarmed by Aang's unusual outburst at him but kept his composer.

"You know Aang, it's not healthy to yell at yourself." Roku exclaimed, laughing slightly.

"This isn't funny Roku, this is serious. How do you expect, how does **ANYONE** expect me to win this war when we have absolutely no advantages?"

"Come on Aang.. where's that Airbender humor?" Roku said smiling only until he noticed this had no affect on his mood. His mouth went back to a solid line and spoke again.

"Besides...That's not true...That water tribe girl and your other friends believe in you. That's an advantage."

"Yeah, that's **so** how people win wars! Look at you... You trusted and believed in Sozin who was supposed to be your 'friend'...and we both know how _that_ played out." Aang said mockingly pacing around his room and putting air quotes around the word 'friend' as he spoke.

"Aang, I know you're upset but don't take this out on ..._me_. This is _your_ quest, _your_ legacy. I already admitted that this war was my fault, I wasn't active enough, and it was a burden I didn't want to push on to _any_ Avatar. But you have an opportunity to end this tyranny, and all you're worrying of is the affections of a girl. This needs to pass, and you must focus on the mission."

"What are you now, my personal Guru or moral conscious? I've tried to let her go...

He hung his head, his voice beginning to deteriorate into nothing.

"Spirits knows I've tried...and it almost cost me my life and the Avatar Spirit. Who knows what will happen if I try to unlock the chakra...and the last thing I want to do is to hurt Katara by getting myself injured again..." it was almost hard to say her name out loud, much less think it.

Roku could tell what he was thinking though. He was nervous for the forthcoming battle with Ozai, unsure of his relationship status with the Water Tribe girl, Katara, and jealous of Zuko for having such 'bewitching' features that would make any girl swoon, including her. He just wanted to be a normal kid with non-otherworldly problems without having the weight of the world on his shoulders. But this wasn't about what Aang wanted, it was about the world and how his choices would influence it. Destiny was a strong word, but there was no denying that when Katara broke him out of the iceberg something miraculous happened; something even beyond Roku's rationalization.

Roku's spirit then motioned for Aang to sit down with a painful look upon his face. The frustration Aang had only moments ago deflated and was replaced with a feeling of concern as he sat back on the edge of his cot.

"You know, the night of the volcano eruption, Ta Min was so frightened. She watched many of the people who lived on our island die because I didn't act fast enough. The last memory I have of her was of her helping the remaining civilians escape onto the boats; in spite of me not being on one with her. Ta Min was a very strong woman. She knew the costs of being in love with the Avatar and accepted them anyway. We were both aware of the risks of course, but what are risks without knowing the true reason to why you risk them in the first place...? "

There was only one word that came to mind his mind when Roku talked about risk...

_Love._ It was truly risky business altogether, like separating a sabertooth mooselion cub from its mother and just as dangerous to play with. And yet, regardless of the danger and rejection, he couldn't help but risk the world's fate for her. He would willingly give up his duties to be with her, and he knew it. It was a guilty and selfish sin that the Monks would have shunned him for if they were alive. And a sin that Katara probably would shun him for too. Though, he would not openly admit this to Roku.

This risk plagued his mind tonight on his flight and ever since the invasion when he touched his lips to hers. It held a blend of all the elements marked within it. Passion. Substance. Comfort. And Freedom. All of the traits that combined to make up the Avatar. He wanted to show her how he felt; more than that of a _little brother_ for sure, in case he didn't come back. Tonight was no exception either.

"What exactly are you getting at Roku? I'm kind of not following you here.", Aang asked, playing dumb.

"What I'm 'getting at' Aang is exactly how much are you willing to risk for this woman?"

Roku then faded, leaving Aang distraught and his mind flighty. If it came down to it...Would he really choose Katara over the fate of the entire world?

He could hear Katara scolding him in the back of his mind already...

_"That's so selfish and irresponsible of you Aang! You're duty is to the world...not to me! You're the Avatar, you know what you need to do!"_

Aang never heard her say this out loud of course, but he imagined it'd go something like that.

These thoughts of reprimand raced through his mind as he walked the squeaky wooden floor halls; passing the doors of his friends who were sleeping like babies. He at least needed to apologize for coming on to her like that. His panic and feeling of rejection took the better of him tonight and he really did feel wrong about it. Though, he couldn't say he minded kissing her again.. because he did.

He finally stopped at Katara's door. Even his airbending couldn't help the lack of oxygen he felt he needed to his throat. Then, without warning, images started alternating of how revolted she looked after their exchange on the balcony; like she'd lost her best friend. This didn't help the lump that was forming in his throat either. He took another deep breath to help steady his nerves and knocked.


End file.
